Thai Massage in Bangkok

After careful research I felt ready for this experience. My research taught me that there are a wide array of possible massages in Thailand. They can be broken down this way. The “soapy massage” usually 1600-6000 Baht involves a scrub down and rub down followed by sex. The traditional Thai massage that includes a “massage”

by a scantily clad lassie and sex. The price for this type is usually negotiated but it in the same range as the first type.

The type I experienced was also called a traditional Thai full body oil massage. The big difference is that no one was soliciting outside the massage parlour. When I entered I was presented with a menu and the prices were in the 500-700 Baht range. Seemed pretty safe. The large Samoan woman did a great job overall. There was a language barrier that was not easy to overcome. There was an awkward moment when she handed me an itty bitty nylon sock looking thing at the very beginning and said “underwear”. It took me some time to discover the little leg holes in the skimpier-than-a-speedo-type thing that I was ordered to wear. The massage itself was lovely. And while I had prepared my pleasant but appreciative “no thank you” should a happy ending be offered (apparently even in the most proper and legit places this is still a thing) I had practiced for nothing as I think my Samoan friend knew I wasn’t there for that. 

When I was wearing only that little sock on the forth floor of an unknown massage parlour in central Bangkok I remember thinking to myself: “This is only costing $30 CND and it couldn’t possibly get anymore minimalist, I must remember to blog this experience”.